Friday Focus: Happy Anniversary

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“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18

It’s our anniversary! Happy 6 years to my amazing King! Every year of marriage celebrated is another example of God’s great love. It’s because of God’s merciful grace that we are ringing in year SIX! 2,190 days of marriage! Praise God! Our story and journey through life and marriage has bumps, scars, bruises and hurdles, but the one astounding fact is that WE have persevered through it all together. We are as one, we act as one, make decisions as one, hustle as one and love as one. I am him and he is me. We have been joined together and cannot be separated.

Love isn’t perfect, its patient. Love isn’t easy, it’s reverent. Love isn’t a field of daisies, it’s a path of sacrifice, humbleness, tenacity and determination. Our love provides testimony to the fact that without the Lord we are not love. Without Christ at the center of our marriage the love is smothered. In a world full of negativity centered around relationships, divorces happening every minute and the “next best thing” always lurking around the corner, the institute of marriage has been weakened and dampened by society’s hastiness. Demoralizing and devaluing marriage, true love, unconditional commitment and unity seems to be running rampant.

For me, I come from a divorced family, but for my husband, his parents have been married over 42 years. Two very different examples. I believe marriage is a choice. The one God designed for you is for you no matter what choice you make. God skillfully designed this man to be my King, the rib he took from my husband to form me was carefully destined for me to be his bride. We are far from perfect and we have made mistakes throughout our journey, but the one thing we know is that we made the choice to be married. I didn’t pick him for money, clothes, cars, houses, etc… I picked him because the light that shines from within him exuberates the God-given potential and destiny that I knew I wanted in my husband. This is our first marriage, so despite our examples set forth on marriage, we had to learn to be husband and wife on our own. Not an easy feat, thank God he has never taken his hands out of our marriage.

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“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7

We weren’t always in a strong place in our lives or our marriage. We let others, friends, family, infertility, work, money, selfishness, etc… interfere with our lives and our marriage. It took its toll. Battling infertility alone almost separated us! It almost dismantled our marriage and caused us to make the greatest mistake of our lives. We had at one time gotten to the “divorce” talk and we had decided there was nothing left for us to do. Even then, I/we didn’t give up. We fought for what we didn’t even want anymore, our marriage and each other. My God, he came in with saving grace and revitalized, rehabilitated, renewed and refreshed our lives, our marriage and our relationship with him.

Engagement Night 2008

Engagement Night 2008

I can talk about this now because I am confident we are past that place, that valley of darkness. Recovery is a process, but if two people work diligently together at restoration the reward is so invaluable. I work at my marriage every day. What that looks like for me is understanding that my husband is the man of my household, the King of my castle. I am submissive to him, I approach things with kindness and love, I pray for him, I pray with him. I work internally to build myself up with God’s words and truth on being a Godly wife, a Proverbs 31 woman. I provide him with his needs and focus on his love language. I value this man. For him I have fought the hardest and sacrificed the most. But because of his love, because of our “love story” I am closer to God, I am relentless in my pursuit of a Christ centered marriage and I hold my marriage and my husband at the highest priority under God. Releasing all fears of failure and trusting the Lord with what he has promised me. Our marriage is stronger than ever, our lives are still pushing forward and we are still standing together, united and as one.

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“But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’[a] 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’; [b] so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Mark 10:6 – 9

Elated to celebrate 6 years and looking forward to even more!

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