So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. – 1 Peter 5:6-7 (MSG)
I have printed this out, cut it up and taped it on my keyboard. Why you ask? Because I am impatient. In these turbulent storms my patience is even shorter than normal and I want what I want, right now! Can someone say “spoiled brat?!” L.O.L The intense struggles, mistakes, sins and shortcomings are still bringing me closer to God. I literally sat in amazement yesterday on my drive home thinking about God’s movement in my life. It’s not always fast enough for me, it’s not always the way I want and it seems to always come with significant struggle. But it is always for my best.
Listen to the words of this song → “Ill Keep On” by NF, Mansion Album
I have to keep going. Even when every single thing in life sucks beyond belief, I cant seem to give up. Even when everything has gone wrong the entire, day, week, month I cannot give up on pushing forward. Patience. Waiting. Trusting. Faith. I feel like I’m the only one who struggles with these things more often than not. I am impatient. I hate waiting. I find trust difficult at times. My faith lacks the level it should be at most times. How can I be patient, wait, trust and have faith when everything around me seems completely out of control?! When I struggle to see the “light at the end of the tunnel” and my spirit gets weary.
I feel being content is a double-edged sword. Many are “content” so to say but never rise to their full potential. Many are never content and spend all their time and efforts trying to get the “next best thing.” Being content in this life is something I have just dived into this year. I’m working on it every day. Can I be content without being able to have children? Can I be content with the career position that God has elevated me to? Can I be content with the turtle pace progress on our business? Can I be content with the family dynamic between myself and my mother and siblings? Can I be content with sacrifice while rebuilding? Content with marriage struggles? Can I just be content?
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. – Philippians 4:11
I am theoretically stomping my feet on the ground and throwing a tantrum right now. I realized God is testing me, challenging me, pruning me, teaching me and preparing me. Iron sharpens Iron. For what? Only He knows. And I just want to scream “Haven’t I been through enough already?” “How much more can I take?” Then I realize, he built me for this life and knows exactly what I can handle and what I will overcome. Going through the journey, tests, trials, tribulations and challenges feels horrible though. I’ve been sad, I’ve worried, I’ve felt like hope is gone. I deal daily with people asking “When are y’all going to have kids?!” Sometimes, I just have to walk away so the rudeness doesn’t escape my mouth and I don’t offend anyone. Is that really anyone’s business to begin with? Do I go around asking “When are you going to get a man, get married, get a better job, etc…?!” NO, I don’t. It’s not my business and I accept people for who they are. No judgement and no gossip.
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:10
I just dealt with the ugliness of someone spreading gossip that I faked my last pregnancy and my C-section. WTH?! Is this real life or is this like TV show?! I seriously was appalled. I was baffled that anyone could even say something so stupid and ignorant. But then I have to remember that it’s not my job to prove to anyone my testimony or journey. Every day is filled with opportunities to choose how I will respond versus react. If I react they are in control, if I respond I am in control. I have to steady myself on responding how Jesus wants me to and I have to stay fueled up with positivity, motivation and truth found in His word.
So, I have to force myself to sit in patience, contentment and faith. I have to force myself to trust Him and wait on Him. I’m learning to “dance in the storms” and every day isn’t peachy keen. But, I’m keeping on.
The Secret to Contentment, Awesome read: Grace To You – The Secret To Contentment
- First, learn to give thanks in all things.
- Second, learn to rest in God’s providence.
- Third, learn to be satisfied with little.
- Fourth, learn to live above life’s circumstances.
- Fifth, learn to rely on God’s power and provision.
- Finally, become preoccupied with the well-being of others.