“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10
Convicting, I know. That scripture right there should be implanted in all of our minds. Comparison is used in every aspect of life in today’s society. Comparing restaurants, hotels, vehicles, shoes, purses, friends, relationships, jobs, and the list goes on and on. How exhausting. Physically and mentally exhausting. Our path in life is just that, ours. What God has destined for us is specifically for us and no one can take that away. Just the same, we cannot have or be or look like or act like or live like anyone else. Staying focused on our own self-worth and not using others as a measuring stick is a struggle I am sure we all face.
“For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” – James 3:16
Comparison confuses everything, it creates doubt and embeds lack of self-confidence and worth. By comparing ourselves to others or using what others have to measure our worth we are always left empty. Our worth is found in Him, our Lord and Savior and we must stay mindful who we are and whose we are. Comparison forces women to change the way they look, alter their outward appearance or mimic what another person is doing, all the while damaging their God given purpose and destiny. Comparison causes adultery, divorce, theft and deceit. Comparison is a sinful mindset and leaves no reward for the taking.
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” – Exodus 20:17
Standing on the outside always makes everything look greater than it truly is. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Coming from a tough childhood and lacking a lot of self-worth, over the years I have had to assess, confront and work on comparing myself to other women, my marriage to other marriages, my body/face/hair to other beautiful women, my friendships to other friendships and my faith to other believers. Until I reflected, I didn’t know how much time I gave to comparing everyone else around me as a measure to my worth. Saddening but true. But thankful that I am evolving and growing to no longer compare myself to others but to look to God for my worth.
My worth is found in Him. I am a daughter of the most high and he loves me and planned every hair on my body. When I was struggling in my marriage, I thought everyone had a better husband than me. Little did I know that many of the marriages I compared mine to had their own struggles, challenges and tribulations they were fighting. When I began trying to conceive a child I compared myself to every woman out there having children and what I would give to have that spot. Then I realized there are many women who have conceived children but have broken homes, broken marriages, lack of self-esteem, poor parenting skills and disruptive homes. As I battle getting my body back through fitness and exercise I compare myself to fitness models, bikini girls, IG models and anyone who has a beautiful fit body. With the help of my trusted support/team I realize I am minimizing my blessing, neglecting to look at my efforts and triumphs and diminishing how far I have really come. Stopping comparison is its tracks, I will root myself in His truths and claim my mind from the ugliness of comparison.
“Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” – 2 Corinthians 10:12
Nothing takes me further from God than comparing myself to others. A life spent comparing ourselves to those around us will leave us beaten down, weakened and available for the devil to enter our minds, our homes, our relationships and our families. I cannot be anyone but me. I admire others who are living well and doing amazing things but that is their journey. Admiring is much different than comparing. The measuring stick I want to use for my life is the commandments that God has set forth to live life by. This may look different for me than it does for you and that ok. No one in this world has it perfect, no one is living the perfect life. Keeping a keen laser focus on my life, my calling and my purpose eliminates the need or want to compare myself to others. It’s a struggle and a journey but one I stay mindful of daily.
When my husband and I began to speak about our journey and share our testimony so many people responded with “We had no idea, we thought everything was perfect in your lives!” Many people were using our marriage or our life as a measuring stick for their lives! No infertility journey, marriage, career path, fitness journey, friendship or life is the same. Our God destined purpose belongs to us and was created by the only perfect thing possible, God. There are people and things that I admire and I am constantly challenging myself to grow and become the best me I can be. Knowing your self-worth is one of the most reverent things you can have in life, you cannot compare to anyone else. God designed you in perfectness and there is no one else like you.
“For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.” – Galatians 6:3-5