“Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Psalm 27:14
I really thought I loved the ideal of me being able to control everything, including the timing of things. Growing up there were so many things I was unable to control, so I promised myself long ago I would control my own life and my destiny, no one and nothing would tell me what to do or dictate the success of my destiny.
To me, being in control meant I wasn’t lost, I wasn’t vulnerable, I couldn’t be hurt and I could make sure that I get the things in life I know I deserve. Then, life started happening in bountiful peaks and valleys and I very, very slowly realized I do not get to really control very much in my life. I’m a bit of a perfectionist and a hard head…okay?! Takes me a few knocks to finally start getting it.
If you have been reading the blog or know me personally, I am a go-getter and struggle with asking for help or elongated bouts of patience. It’s a blessing and a curse. Hey, I’m a work in progress. So, waiting is something that tends to stress me out and bring me frustration.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
What can you do while you wait for God to answer, to work, to supply?
So, God has definitely been polishing me, extracting all the things from inside me and around my life that are not good for me. He has been putting me in situations that force me to choose, force me to love myself and force me to believe in Him. It’s taken me some time to have my eyes opened so that I can see and notice things shifting in my life. Not easy time either, it literally stinks waiting for what I want, expecting God to answer my prayers and deliver my blessings. Waiting is not easy.
But there are so many things that take place in the waiting room. Preparation, qualification, growth, refinement and acknowledgement. We get to see God’s power most while in the waiting room. We realize how little we can do on our own which heightens our awareness of God’s unlimited ability. In the waiting room our character is polished and refined and we are taught hope and perseverance. Iron sharpens iron, right?! In my experience I have noticed the most spiritual growth in the waiting room, hasn’t been easy for me to accept but the transformation in my life keeps me in awe. Waiting on God has changed my life, it’s forced me to choose Him or my own ways and it has truly taught me what it is to walk by faith and not by sight. In the waiting room, I serve, I love, I sacrifice, I cry, I submit; I know these things do not go unnoticed by God.
Because we’re limited by our perspective as worldly humans, we’ll never be able to grasp the vast difference between the way we view the events in our lives and the way God views them. This is where faith and trust must enter. Faith in Him is a hard thing to fake. You can’t just say “Oh I trust God to handle this” but then worry and try to take things in your own hands. You literally have to give it over to God and sit in your chair in His waiting room and wait to be called. At the center of our struggle with waiting is the conflict between our timeline and God’s.
Reluctantly I had to hand my marriage and my husband over to God. I had to hand my infertility over to God. I had to hand the launch and success of our businesses over to God. Shoot, who am I kidding?! I had to hand my whole life over to God. I clearly wasn’t getting it right. But even with all the mistakes, all the times I knew better, the times I lashed out – His grace overflowed. Thank God for His grace. Grace can be defined as God’s provision for our every need when we need it. The exact interpretation of that verse is “My power is being perfected in your weakness.” In other words, God’s provision of grace is a continuing process, not a one-time event.
Everything I do now, every decision I make, I have to remember to go to Him first, in prayer, so that His perfect plan can be revealed. I don’t like waiting but I am beginning to enjoy the journey along the way. I am working more and more each day to love me, love where He has me and live in gratefulness. Not forgetting what I want and where I want to be, just working more not to miss all the blessings along the way. I’m far different today than I was and I know my future will be greater than my past. What matters most isn’t what’s happening to us but what’s happening in us.
“I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. When I am weak, then I am strong”
So, grab His book and take a seat, get comfy being polished in the waiting room. Your time is coming, your blessings are waiting. Be obedient my friend and just Be Still.